Snow Job Gone Wrong
My wife isn’t exactly a farm girl. You know, not well acquainted with running machinery. So I was surprised when she called me at work to say she was going to clear the snow out of our driveway with the garden tractor snow blower. I was quite happy to skip snow blowing in the dark after work.
But when I got home, the driveway was an absolute mess. Weirdly shaped piles of snow were everywhere, along with ruts across the driveway into the lawn—not exactly the bang-up job I’d been hoping for. We plodded through the drifts to rescue the tractor, which was stuck in a snowbank. I climbed aboard and fired it up. My wife got the most incredulous look on her face—she had no idea there was a switch that existed solely to turn on the snow blower.
‘Air’ on the Side of Clean
During an unusually long hot spell, I finally decided to install the window air conditioner that had been sitting unused in my garage for five years. I lugged it inside and prepared to put it in the window. My wife suggested I clean it thoroughly before installing it. But since it had been wrapped up in the garage, I figured a light surface cleaning would be enough. After straining and sweating to install the unit in the window, I turned it on, expecting to receive a delicious blast of cold air. I got the cold air all right. But the mouse droppings, dead bugs and spiderwebs weren’t exactly ‘delicious.’
I Can Do It Myself
As my wife and kids were heading to the grocery store, I noticed a roller had come out of the track on the overhead garage door. My wife asked if I needed some help fi it, but I told her to go on to the store. ‘What could go wrong?’ I asked myself.
I got out the ladder, pushed up the door slightly with one hand and pushed the roller back into the track with my other hand. Once the roller was in the track, the door started to roll shut, trapping and pinching my finger. Ouch! As I tried to lift the door free with my other hand, the door began rolling and the ladder started to tip. I screamed for help until a neighbor ran over. As he came into the garage I said, ‘Don’t ask any questions, and please don’t tell my wife!’